The Importance of Keeping Your Word Updated

A few years ago I wrote an article about how important it was to keeping your word. It's proved to be one of the most read articles appearing on my blog - who would have imagined?

I recently had the opportunity to expand on the topic and so updated it with new material.

My main focus on the original and newly updated article was on keeping promises to yourself.

You see in my hypnosis work with clients its important they treat themselves with the same commitment and authenticity they treat and expect from others. In between sessions there are many opportunities for a client to "fall off the wagon."

To feel stressed one day and just go back to one cigarette, or quit dairy for their diet, but love coffee and can't bear it black or without milk or cream... so in either case... they cheat a little.

Of course it's a slippery slope... really slippery.

In fact your unconscious mind makes note of what you did and doesn't pass judgement on you but remembers this habit next time. And when the same situation arises again there's a little voice inside saying, hey no big deal you did it before...

So this client, while they've made a promise to themselves to quit or lose weight, they just don't take it as seriously as they would keeping a promise to others. So I spend time working with them on this commitment and just what it says about their respect for themselves when they don't keep their promises.

I haven't done any personal research, but I would be willing to wager the cost of a client's session that if they don't keep promises to others then there's little chance they'll keep it to themselves.

Why would they? They have a habit of broken promises.

And frankly, that's what it all comes down to... habit. Are you a person of your word? Can you be trusted? After all, how you do anything is how you do everything, right?

So, need a little exercise?

In order to keep promises to yourself you need to exercise the muscle.

Not by going to gym - although if you like that metaphor that's okay - but by doing what you say you'll do... for yourself.

Start small. Think of 5 things you can do today. Make them easy to begin. Take a walk for 20-minutes... yes, okay, walking the dog counts. Call a friend for a chat. eat some fruit, or a healthy meal. Feel the power as you tick off each item as you go through the day.

Believe me its infectious as you see a string of days of doing the five things you said you'd do. Keep doing it until you feel you're ready to "add more weights to the bar." That is make the five things just a tad more effort required.

In quick time you'll do everything you can to ensure you keep all your promises to yourself. Because... you've made it a habit, and good habits are as difficult to break as bad ones!

If you're interested in reading the full article at my blog on the importance of keeping your word then click here >>>

Let me know by leaving a comment if you enjoyed this post.

Erika Slater CH
Free At Last Hypnosis
Massachusetts

Noise and Sound Sensitivity - New Treatments

I suffer with Tinnitus.

Maybe a more appropriate word for me is "endure." I'm aware there are people who experience "ringing in the ears" to the point they contemplate suicide.

This is not me. My tinnitus withdraws into the background when I focus on other activities.

This doesn't work for others.

One treatment for more distracting and painful levels of Tinnitus involve TRT or Tinnitus Retraining Therapy. The therapy involves counseling and a sound generator. It has to be administered by a qualified specialists. It can take 3-6 months to see results.

Other sound sensitivity issues such as Misophonia and Phonophobia are psychological rather than recognized as hearing issues. Treatment for these also include TRT.

Misophonia is caused when a particular sound causes a violent reaction in the person afflicted with it. The most common example is people chewing food. Phonophobia is the fear of sounds and can make the sufferer a recluse. They avoid events or gatherings where sounds will be prevalent.

Though sound sensitivity is still a relatively new field in the medical world, new treatments are being designed and tried to "cure" the most persistent and challenging cases.

For example Sequent Repatterning as a treatment for Misophonia has been developed in England by Chris Pearson. This uses hypnosis as a component of the treatment.

Two other treatments being pursued for helping control sound sensitivity are EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing - and IEMT - Integral Eye Movement Therapy. IEMT was developed by Andrew Austin in UK. While they both use the term eye movement they're two different therapies in the way implemented.

There are still more questions than answers today for people suffering with any sound sensitivity issues and its worthwhile keeping in touch with the resources that cover this area. When I was doing research for the article I found lots of different resources but no one place covering most of treatments.

A few weeks ago I set out to try and pull a resource together for folks and you can find it at my blog.

The resource is called treatments for noise and sound sensitivity including misophonia and  hyperacusis here >>> 

For the hearing issues that are psychological as in Misophonia and Phonophobia, hypnotherapy offers an alternative or complimentary solution to other treatments.

Erika Slater CH
Free At Last Hypnosis
Massachusetts

The Art of Being Kinder to Yourself…

Over the last year, I’ve thought a lot about the topic of self-compassion. This isn’t to be confused with self-esteem. In many respects if we show ourselves more self-compassion then our self-esteem will automatically increase.

I've also come to realize we get confused by the term self-esteem and the way it's thought of today. For many it's come to mean increasing our sense of self-worth at the expense of somebody else without consciously going out of our way to "steal" from somebody so we get more.  We unconsciously look at like it's a "zero-sum game."

But back to self-compassion...

Many of us have grown up to believe that compassion is a virtue and something to strive to show to others, and I would venture to guess we do. Our natural reaction when we see somebody being victimized or in need of help is to step up and do whatever we can to ease suffering.

However, when it comes to showing ourselves compassion… we struggle. We tend to be hard on ourselves. Maybe feeling there’s so much suffering in the world how dare we “waste” our compassion on ourselves.

But the fact is… this is faulty logic.

Studies have shown when we’re kind and nurturing to ourselves then many of our emotional needs are met, and we are better positioned to focus and help others. It turns out being good to yourself helps you be good to others – what a pleasant paradox!

There are five myths that stop us from showing the self-compassion we deserve. These are thinking:

1. It’s a form of self-pity. 
2. It means weakness.
3. It’ll make me complacent.
4. I’ll be seen as a narcissist.
5. It’s selfish.

I don’t have the space today to tackle each of these myths here but I have written an article that covers the topic of self-compassion in more detail and explodes these dangerous myths, and I hope you take the time to read it and show yourself more self-compassion in 2017.

That is my wish for all reading this post today.

You can find the article: Practicing Self-Compassion – How to Be Kinder to Yourself here >>> 

I wish you a very successful 2017 and you achieve whatever goals you set for yourself.

Best wishes,

Erika Slater CH
Director
Free At Last Hypnosis
Massachusetts

Three ways to natural anti-aging… no tricks

There’s a lot of bad press about wonder products that leave your bank account "empty" and your body "flat out of years."

No snake oil I promise, no expensive facial cremes or surgery. Just some information to make you think.

Believe it or not there are Doctors and scientists in the world dedicated to understanding how we age and discovering if we can slow it down or stop it altogether. Their goal is to increase our life expectancy to 130+years!

The fact is you don’t have to wait for their research or studies to provide answers because there are some simple things we know today that can slow our aging process and they’re all natural.

Want to know what the big three are? Read on…

Now first, living to 130+years of age brings its own set of problems such as what is the real retirement age and how much money do you need for a retirement this long? Yikes!

I’m not an economist so if it’s okay with you I’ll gloss over this reality and instead assume that an extra decade or two of youthful life would suit you fine if you knew what you had to do and it is achievable for mortal.


THE EXERCISE ELEMENT:

Unlike your pre-historic ancestors, you’re not going to be eaten by a sabre tooth tiger so “flight or fight” isn’t a daily concern for you.

The bad news though is we’ve all got a little lazy – me included. Most people’s exercise these days consists of walking to the car from the house for their daily commute and doing the same on returning home.

Our body needs us to take care of it and so a little exercise each day goes a long way. 15-20 minutes a day walking at your own pace is good enough to start. Also, perform some exercises each day that improve your flexibility and help with muscle tone. Keep it simple.

Your body benefits from being “pushed” a little. Breaking sweat is enough but you set your own exertion level. Okay here’s the disclaimer… see your doctor first before entering any exercise program if you’ve been “dormant” for a while… like years.


THE NUTRITION COMPONENT:

Garbage in… Garbage out. The fuel we put in our bodies needs to be top grade and of our choice and not what the food industry wants us to eat to swell their profits and please Wall Street.

Our bodies age quickly if all we pump into it are sugars, carbohydrates and processed foods full of chemicals only spelling bees can get their tongues around. It’s okay to have a “few sins” such as a pasta meal occasionally or a cookie to close a meal.

Just not every day, right?

If getting and sticking to good nutrition is a “bridge too far” for you based on past experiences… then you’ll like this last final aging deterrent to help you over the bridge…


IT’S ALL ABOUT MINDSET:

I’ve saved the best for last… and its mindset.

Mindset is all about your attitude and what you think. If you crave only sitting on the couch or eating unhealthy body fuel, then you just have to realize you’re making a choice to be susceptible to disease. What’s needed is a different perspective on exercise and food.

Getting the right mindset means in time you’ll look forward to exercise and find the time to do it consistently. Getting the right mindset means in time choosing healthy food alternatives will be natural to you.

So how do you get this mindset?

Well you can read books about it – Jamie Smart’s books "The Little Book of Clarity" and most recently "Results" explain what is going on and how to think different and then use this information to achieve the results you want.

If you hate reading self-help books, then hypnosis will help install the mindset to get you on the path to natural aging and enjoying exercise on the right diet for you.

There are self-hypnosis products you can purchase or you can skip all that and see a local hypnotherapist to kick-start the new YOU.

I’ve written an article at our blog about Natural Anti-Aging and Turning Back the Clock to Feel Younger here >>> 

If you look at photos of yourself today or catch a glimpse in a mirror and don’t care for what you see, then go beyond the expensive cosmetic products and start making foundational changes to your mindset to help reduce and reverse your aging… and start today.

Let me know how you enjoyed this email.


Erika Slater CH
Director
Free At Last Hypnosis
Massachusetts

What's the Right Number of Weight Loss Hypnosis Sessions for Me?

I thought I would tackle the question of the right number of hypnosis sessions for weight loss in today's post.

And the answer is... it's complicated.

This is right up there with the answer.... it depends, right? And no doubt just as frustrating to you!

But I have a good reason so please hear me out.

For those people seeking out weight loss services using hypnosis then usually it's because they've tried to lose weight before using traditional ways but it hasn't worked for them.

These ways can be diets, exercise, pills, weight watchers, and a combination of these and others. For whatever reason it hasn't solved their weight issues long term. We can agree it works for some folks but not for everybody.

It doesn't mean we're losers - let me tell you my story one day - but it does mean there's something lurking sabotaging you getting to your right size.

Its a complicated topic because you're a complicated individual.

You're a special, unique one a kind person. Hooray!

Because you're unique then your story is unique, and your story is what makes weight loss complicated for some folks. Your story dictates why you're stuck in keeping the weight off.

So most of the people that come to see me are looking to get unstuck! They're looking for help in losing weight successfully.

They want to see if hypnosis can help them.

Fair enough... but...


HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?

Hypnosis like any other aid isn't a "silver bullet."

We can't make an appointment for you to come in and I give you a hypnosis session or two, tell you to only eat "protein and veg"and you're cured and will only ever eat healthy foods again.

Can it happen... yes, but let's not bank on it.

Success is dictated by how "badly" you want it to be successful. If you want it bad enough then you'll do what I tell you to do once we've got the demons expelled keeping you where you are today.

Let's agree there are issues keeping you at your current weight that have nothing to do with food and calories.

The issues are not the food and calories you consume... the issues are what cause you to consume the food and calories you do.

If you fix the issues then maintaining healthy food choices becomes pick your healthy foods of choice and go home and enjoy the rest of your life. Well... there is some work to do to help you stick to eating healthy but hypnosis and good direction can usually solve that piece of the puzzle.

So the real work in hypnosis is identifying the issues and helping you to move on from them.


SO HOW MANY WEIGHT LOSS SESSIONS ERIKA? 

Okay... enough context let's cut to the chase...

For private weight loss clients I recommend a minimum of four sessions. For those that sign-up for my group weight loss program there are three sessions.

But this needs some explanation.

Private clients have a program that initially lasts for four sessions. The first session aims to explain the program but begins to understand the barriers keeping them from being successful in weight loss up until now.

These are usually emotional issues and are... complicated.

There's that word again. But frankly, it can take all four sessions to rout out the issues. Certainly a client may not even know the core issues and so we spend time identifying. If the issues work is long then a program can be 6 or 10, or even longer number of sessions.

The issues and of course the client's desire to resolve the problem dictates the program length.

The Group program has to be more defined and limited, and this is why we set it at three. Of course with Group we can't discuss individual issues, and frankly most people wouldn't feel comfortable doing that in a group setting.

Many times I work with a group client on an individual basis if they recognize extra help is needed and they have the desire to spend the time and their resources doing the necessary work.


CAPPING IT ALL OFF:

Hopefully, by now you have a sense about how weight loss is a complicated subject and that if it were easy and just about eating the right foods then most would have solved it by now.

Yes, we can talk about the food industry and all the terrible things they've done and are still doing to cause obesity in this country and around the world but that's another story for another day.

For now know if you chose hypnosis to help you with weight loss then don't go in with thinking of a set number of sessions. Work with your local hypnotherapist that specializes in weight loss and work it out together.

For more details around my private weight loss program to help you with context then check out my Free At Last Hypnosis services page here >>>

Erika Slater CH
Director
Free At Last Hypnosis
Massachusetts

Putting Your Octopus to Bed

Do you feel overwhelmed with all the things you want to change about your life but don’t seem to make much of any progress?

Are you a victim of trying to change too many things at once and end up not changing anything at all?

If you are then you’re not alone and today I’m going to give you some help.

I hope you’re up to a metaphor for today’s email. It’ll be fun.

Let’s assume you have a number of significant things you want to change about your life. It could be around career/job, relationships, finances, fitness, stress, weight loss, quit smoking, etc.  Allocate each one to the arm of an octopus in order of importance and think about “putting your octopus to bed.”

How would you go about doing this?

No, I’ve never put an Octopus to bed either but I think in my imagination it would go something like this…

1. The First Tentacle:

The first tentacle is the hardest. Think about it… the first tentacle of the Octopus you put under the sheets will be the hardest to keep there. The Octopus would be comfortable with letting it hang out and dangle over the bed. It will feel weird after all these years of having its tentacle waving freely in the ocean depths and now confining a tentacle to stay in one position. So it will fight you to keep it tucked in. It’ll drop out many times… you’ll put it back in… it will come out… and you put it back in again. This sequence will repeat until the Octopus finally gets what you want it to do and eventually the tentacle will stay in.

Let it rest and sleep for the night before going on to the next tentacle.

This first tentacle then has to be the tentacle that relates to your most important change you want in your life. It will be the hardest to change so you can expect an internal “fight.”

Hopefully you’re getting the metaphor between the Octopus tentacles and the changes you want to see in your life.

2. The Second Tentacle:

If you spent enough time getting the first tentacle under the sheet, then it’ll stay when you put the second tentacle inside the covers. If the first one slips out, then no need to panic as it just means you still have more training work to do on the first tentacle. Go back to focusing on the first tentacle again.

Once you feel confident the first tentacle will stay put move on to the second tentacle. Even though it’s the second tentacle expect a fight for it to stay under the sheets along with the first. After all these are your two most significant changes and they’ll “not go to bed” without a fight!

3. The Third and Subsequent Tentacles:

I don’t know how many tentacles (changes you want to make) your Octopus will have – unlikely it’ll be eight. But the remaining tentacles should be easier to put to bed. You’ve trained your Octopus on what to expect and it’ll conform.

If one of the earlier tentacles slips out when working on others, then just go back to it and give it all your attention until its back under your control again.

If necessary implement a system of rewards for yourself after each successful control of a tentacle. This is reinforcement of the behavior you want and can be just token and not expensive or significant, a cup of coffee or a trip to a movie is good enough.

4. What Do I Do If My First Tentacle Keeps Slipping Out?

Consider there is something going on here impeding progress. Maybe the change you chose as your first tentacle is not the one to tackle first? If you chose Quit Smoking as your first major change but when you go onto other changes you keep “falling off the wagon” and start smoking again then there’s most likely a more compelling core change for you to make first rather than to Stop Smoking.

Quitting may have to wait until you get a different tentacle under control.

5. Wrapping It All Up:

My use of the term “putting your Octopus to bed” is merely a convenient metaphor to get you to think about making changes and how important it is to focus your energies on succeeding by mastering one change at a time.

While I have no doubt you can “chew gum and walk at the same time” we’re not talking about multi-tasking when it comes to significant life changes but something requiring deeper commitment to change.

Some changes will be more difficult than others and take longer and this may frustrate you so if you experience barriers or want to speed up the process then consider hypnosis either through some sessions with a hypnotherapist or learning self-hypnosis techniques.

Contact me here if you need help >>>


Erika Slater CH
Director
Free At Last Hypnosis

Preparing Your Kids And Teenagers To Thrive In The New School Year…

Over the summer I’ve written some blog posts around anxiety, social exclusion, and self-esteem in kids and teenagers.

These are personal topics for me and also ones I continually run across when I talk to clients of kids in my hypnosis practice.

If you worry about the approaching new school year and how your child or teenager will fare, then you’re not alone.

Despite the heightened awareness of these issues in our schools it’s still a jungle for many kids and teenagers each day. My own experiences and research has focused on how best we can help our kids thrive in this environment. That was the impetus for me writing and sharing these posts.

Let me introduce each of these posts to you and provide a link to the full article where you can also find additional resources.

I’m hoping they’ll be something useful for any parent of children and teenagers in one or more of these articles..

1. How to Instill High Self-Esteem in your Kids:

Many kids today suffer from low self-esteem. Low self-esteem undermines the ability to communicate effectively, rationally and assertively. As a parent or guardian our own self-esteem impacts greatly those for whom we care. While we may not want to hear it, a child’s low self-esteem can be a direct cause of our interactions with them.

This article covers topics of depression and anger on self-esteem, the importance of quality interactions with our kids, and a better path for the family to support kids experiencing self-esteem issues.

Read the full article here >>>

2. Kids feeling Socially Excluded:

Nature can be brutal and rejection of an animal by its Mother or from its pack or herd can be fatal for the survival of the animal.

But when it comes to humans our expectation is no child or kid is excluded. But we’re all vulnerable growing-up and frankly kids and teenagers can behave badly towards each other, especially when it comes to social interactions and acceptance.

I have three kids of my own and getting each of them through the teenage years to adulthood has been different for each one. As any parent knows at some point your kid will experience social exclusion at some level. Preparing them ahead of time to deal with this is part of being a parent.

This article covers bullying, how to talk to your kids on these matters, and some advice on how to get beyond words if you need to seek further help.

Read the full article here >>>

3. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (G.A.D.) in Kids & Teenagers:

More kids are being diagnosed or labeled with having mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety. It also appears that generalized anxiety disorder is truly becoming more prevalent in younger kids and teenagers. Why?

What’s going on here?

Are more kids being born with brain and neurological deficiencies or abnormalities which is leading them to becoming ‘anxious’, or is it more of a sociological phenomenon which is leading to psychological problems? Or is it, as some suggest, all to do with our diets of processed foods?

In this post I explore what is G.A.D., the debate over why it’s prevalent, and treatments available including pharmaceuticals to help overcome it.

Read the full article here >>>

Let me know if the information in any of these articles helped.

Erika Slater CH
Director
Free At Last Hypnosis
Massachusetts